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One of the advantages of having twins

... is automatically avoiding all danger of becoming a Smug Overprotective Parent of One Child type.

Not that all parents of one child are like this, or even the majority, or probably anything but a teeny-but-annoying minority! But I seem to be running into a lot of them lately! Particularly online, where you can find them solemnly informing everyone who will listen that they would never take their eyes off their child long enough to let it get attacked by a wild boar, or that the parents of that poor girl who got attacked in a bathroom weren't being responsible, and that unlike those people THEY always accompany THEIR child to a bathroom when out in public!!!111

But what if you have... more than one child? you ask. At this point, one can imagine the look of slowly dawning horror spreading over their face as they somehow become aware for the first time ever that such a thing is possible. Then (I imagine) they gradually raise their hands in front of their face and gaze at them sadly like the rock biter in The Neverending Story, suddenly aware of the sheer vastness of the unknowable universe and also the concept of plurals.

Then their heads explode? I assume. Usually these brave parenting warriors only give out their opinions on facebook I just have to go by guessing here.


( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
Jun. 6th, 2016 03:30 am (UTC)
I wonder what would happen if you said you had triplets, or more! XD
Jun. 6th, 2016 09:58 pm (UTC)
I completely get the desire to be hyper-vigilant... but yeah. Given all the shenanigans I got into when I was in elementary school, my goal is to just teach a child how to make good decisions. (Like the day I needed to cross the street, and went into a liquor store and asked a nice man holding a bottle wrapped in brown paper if he would hold my hand and help me cross the street. Which he did. I had no idea what they sold in that store or why my mom would flip out about it... Good times.)
Jun. 8th, 2016 06:51 pm (UTC)
When I lived in Australia one of my fellow teachers told me about his young daughter once seeing a "don't take candy from strangers!" demonstration at her elementary school. At some point soon afterwards she got away from her dad in a park or something and after a few panicked minutes a man brought her back to him asking "Is this one yours?"

Turned out the daughter had gone up to the man, a "stranger," and asked him for some of that sweet candy she now knew that all strangers were hiding.
Jun. 8th, 2016 10:55 pm (UTC)
Dammit. I knew I should keep some butterscotch disks with me at all times. (Or is that only elderly white dudes.) Hee.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )